I’m crying uncontrollably even reading (edit: I meant typing) this so I might be incoherent.
I’m 27. My boyfriend is 30. I moved to the country I live in now when I was 20. I was sex trafficked for 5 years by that point and moving to this country was my escape. I met him about a year after moving here and we became friends. It was strictly platonic at first and I told him about my past. He was there for me, listened to me and held me while I cried. He was an amazing friend. A year ago, he confessed that he had feelings for me. I said I did too and we started dating. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable having sex soon into our relationship because of all I’ve been through and asked him if he was willing to be patient with me because I didn’t know how long it would take for me to feel comfortable being intimate with him. He said it was completely fine and he didn’t make any move before I was ready.
Yesterday, I told him I wanted to try going further. I was into it and actually enjoying myself. When he was getting close to finishing, he said “I get why men were willing to pay to have you. I’d pay for this too”. I froze. My heart felt like it stopped beating for a second and my stomach dropped. I lay completely still and he finished. I looked at him in shock and asked “why the hell would you say that?”. He looked shocked as well and said he wasn’t thinking logically and thought it might turn me on. I asked why the hell memories of my worst nightmares would turn me on??
I broke up with him and told him to get out. He’s been spamming me with apologies and asking what he can do to make it right. Just the thought of him makes me so sick. I should’ve known I wouldn’t be anything more than a slave to anyone. I feel cheated.